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Say What Now?

Say What Now?What did i tell you? I told you i’d be back very soon, and i’ve obliged. Personally i’m quite impressed by myself, but as some might wish to point out, this is not the first time i’ve stopped blogging and then said i’ll be back soon, and then didn’t oblige.

So, first let’s attend to the questions.  Why did i stop?  Well, there is not one answer to that.  I’ll tell you what one of the main reasons was however.  When this blog was ‘discovered’ by certain people that perhaps i didnt’ think – naively – would’ve found it (i.e. my students).  That in itself wasn’t a problem for me, but the idea of my personal life and my professional life mixing did not appeal to me. 

Why? Well the reasons are many.  I have no intention of going into a discussion on pedgogical philosophies, but perhaps it boils down to one word: authority.  I am still young enough that i remember my life as a student.  I remember the teacher for me always had a unique existence, in that she or he did not really exist for me outside of the academic framework.  If it came to pass that fate would have me cross a teacher in real life, say at the supermarket or something, once the awe and wonder of it has faded, i could almost say that somethign was lost, in the mystique of the teacher.  Because he became more human. I am not saying that is a bad thing, it is even possibly a good thing, but what is important is that the dynamic between the two changes.  And that is that I dont want yet to happen i think.  As i become more comfortable in my professional skin, i will be able to deal with situation better. I am by no means a strict teacher, possibly a bit too lax at times, and it is as always, the story of giving an inch, and them taking a foot. You need to be careful. 

But let us be serious. that is NOT the only reason.  However the theme rests. It is odd to say this, but when you know WHO is reading the blog, you dont necessarily write with the same sincerity and genuineness as before.  You can’t keep the same level of candidness.  You almost write for an audience.  Now, i am not by any means saying i actually have an audience (all you need to do is look at the 40-50 hits/day i was getting in my ‘hayday’ to realize this fact).  But when you are aware that certain people are reading the blog, some autocensoring comes into play. which is a shame. 

You know i started to blog, before i knew i was actually blogging.  It was in 2000 that i started.  It was on a site which was an online journal, and i was there under a pseudonym, with no information on my actual identity.  And there i was able to truly write all that was on my mind, and i can tell you in those days – during the SAH days – i had a LOT on my mind, and a lot to say.  No one from my real life actually ever found out about that site … except for one perhaps…although i’m not sure – he is finishing his PhD in the US and while we do keep in somewhat regular contact, he never ever has brought that up so i dont know for sure.  Anyways, i used to love those times, because i really was able to say what was on my mind.  I was writing a lot of poetry back then, and a lot of prose.  And i didnt feel bad about publishing them online because i knew that no one who read it, knew who i was.  There is a great feelign of safety in anonymity.

Then i started this blog.  Back when it was still on the utoronto server.  At that time i did not mind being known.  And the more i reflect upon it, the more i realize it is because the goal of my web-writing had changed.  Whether i liked it or not, there was politics in there now.  Although i did include a fair bit of my personal life in that.  But anyways, the people who read the blog, were mostly those who did not really know me.

Politics however became one of the reasons i stopped blogging.  I could not take it anymore.  It wasn’t only in blogging that it was becoming too much.  In my own life too.  As i was going through the crisis of my personal life, the crisis in politics became almost an external manifestation of my insides, and it became somethign i could cling onto, in order to externalize my own problems.  But i became far too invested in it, and with each bad news, i took it far too badly on a personal level.  And so i had to stop.  Even in my own personal life, now, i’m much more cut off from politics.  Sure i read the news, i follow the elections and the campaigning and hear what warmongers like McCain or Clinton have to say, but i just dont get moved too much by it.  I dont get moved by the plight of the poor country of Iraq anymore.  I dont get moved too much by all the negative potentiality surrounding Iran and the US anymore.  i just coudln’t anymore, i had to stop.  In a sense it’s a shame, but i think i’m better off for it. 

It is because i’m fairly – no…very – happy in my personal and professional life.  Happy enough, that i at times feel guilty at how lucky i am.  And that is another reason why i haven’t been blogging.  Honestly, i dont think at any point in my life, i’ve worked the number of hours that i do currently.  Each night until 10 pm at least, and most weekends at the library.  And i love it. I dont mind.  Sure it’s not the same kind of work as a kid in med school or someone doing a PhD in physics, but its’ work nonetheless.  Talking and interacting the number of hours each day with the students and then afterwards marking preparing, etc. is still work, and its intellectual work.  But its’ a great form of exhaustion. 

Furthermore, while not working i’m busy doing a lot of things i enjoy greatly.  I’m taking full advantage of the possibilities of this awesome and expensive city.  Musically, especially.  I will be writing much more musical reviews that is for sure.  I’ve also – thanks to the burgeoning friendship with my very dear friend Double-R – started to explore many things outside of my professional field of trainings of science. 

So that leads me to the final thing to say.  After all of that, the main reason possibly for not writing, has been a lack of direction.  Bascially once, i decided i’m going to forego politics, this blog lost a lot of its direction.  It makes me sad to see it lose its direction, but even more sad to realize that it had become basically a political blog.  This was never the intention.  The original aim of this blog was to introduce Iran and talk about Iran (all of iran, not just its politics) to a mainly occidental and english speaking audience. 

And so here we are, if we are to continue with this blog, what is going to be its point, and its direction?  And it is here that we reach a bit of a problem.  Because, for me, the natural diretion to take would be a more personal one, a more introspective one.  And yet here i just spent half of this post ranting and raving about lack of anonymity and autocensure in the face of a known audience. 

So what is there to do? That is the question.  Does one sacrifice the one for the other, or is it goodbye blogging?  Or perhaps a compromise can be found between the two extremes? Perhaps that could be the subject of a post.  This much i can say, i will continue to write, as my time permits, and i will write about things which MATTER TO ME, WHICH ARE IMPORTANT TO ME, WHICH I AM THINKING ABOUT IN MY LIFE. 

oh yes, and i’d really like to start up the photoblog once more, since my lovely new camera and i are getting along oh just so swimingly.

 

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I find this absolutely scandalous.  This is the newly elected anglo/american/capitalist-friendly french President Nicolas Sarkozy, giving a press conference at the G8 conference, UTTERLY DRUNK.  Shame….

00:47 – June 12, 2007

[tags]france, president, g8, drunk, sarkozy, bouree [/tags]

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  • 2 Comments
  • Filed under: France, politics
  • So the famous Cannes film Festival has ended, and so the prizes were awareded. The Palme d’Or was given to the Romanian film "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days," which depicts the horrors a student goes through to ensure her friend can have a secret abortion.  But …

    The cinematic adaptation of Marjane Satrapi’s "Persepolis" won the Prix de Jury at the Cannes film festival!!! Good for her.

    Read about it here

    [tags]france, cannes, film festival, satrapi, Persepolis, jury prize[/tags]

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    UPDATE II: According to Belgian media exit polls, Sarkozy has won the wiht a majority of between 53-55% of the vote.

    UPDATE:  According to i-tele, the participation rate as of 7 pm has been at 75.11%.  Voting finishes in less than 45 minutes.



    According to the AFP news agency, by 15h00 local time in france, 75% of registered voters had already voted!

    According to foreign news sources, such as al jazeera, based on exit poll results, Sarkozy is still quite a few points ahead of Segolen Royal. 
    Voting finished at 20h00 (GMT +1), and at this time, preliminary results will be OFFICIALLY announced. 

    [tags]france, french, election, elections, president, presidentielle, sarkozy, présidentielle, élection, segolene, royal, bayrou, le pen, presidentielle 2007 [/tags]

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    WELL……THE DAY HAS COME.

    While inside france, no media outlet is allowed to give poll results until after the election has closed, there are always foreign news sources which give exit poll results.

    So here you will find Loopy, giving what is found through the foreign news sources.

    FOR NOW:

    i JUST SAW ON AL JAZEERA ENGLISH, THAT AFTER 35% OF THE VOTES (BEORE NOON) SARKOZY HAS 55% OF THE VOTES.

    Stay tuned, i will keep updating and post some photographs.

    [tags]france, french, election, elections, president, presidentielle, sarkozy, présidentielle, élection, segolene, royal, bayrou, le pen, presidentielle 2007 [/tags]

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    French Presidential Election

    UPDATE III : Reuters is reporting that with around 35% of the votes counted the results stands as such,

    SARKOZY AT 30.5 %
    ROYAL   AT 24.3 %
    BAYROU AT 18.2 %
    LE PEN AT 11.5 %

    UPDATE II : THE FIRST OFFICIAL RESULTS ARE IN!!  THESE ARE ONLY ESTIMATES AND VOTING HASNT FINISHED YET,

    SARKOZY AT 29.3 %
    ROYAL   AT 26.5 %
    BAYROU AT 18.6 %
    LE PEN AT 10 %

    UPDATE
    I :  According to a report from Belgian sources, according to exit polls, Segolene Royal and Sarkozy are going to the second round.  The potential shock might be, that Bayrou (according to some polls) has finished FOURTH, behind Le Pen.  Let us wait and see.


    Well the day has come.  The elections have been goign on since this morning, with record turnouts.  Some reports had 30% of voters had already voted by noontime. 

    According to french law, no results or exit poll results can be broadcast until after the closing of the polls.  So everyone is just hanging on the edge of the seat and counting minutes.

    [tags]france, french, election, elections, president, presidentielle, sarkozy, segolene, royal, bayrou, le pen [/tags]

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    Voting starts tomorrow

    It is quite insane.  Two days to go, and campaigning stops tonite.  And the picture is as unclear as ever.

    It is quite scary.  Sarkozy is still in the lead in the polls.  It looks more and more like Sarkozy will at least go the second round, probably will Royal.  Which is NOT a good thing, since most would vote Sarko in that case. 

    It’s again one of those choices. Does one vote for the one that proposes the best solution? or does one vote defensively to prevent a certain individual from getting into power.  Furthermore, there are somethign like upto 30 percent of voters which are still undecided.  That will surely decide the ultimate outcome.

    For now, all there is to do, is to wait and see.  Too bad i can’t vote!!

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  • Filed under: France
  • Le Vrai Sarkozy

    With the elections here in france, less than two weeks away, the campaigns, official and non-official, are fully underway.  The leader in the polls, unfortunately, continues to be Nikolas sarkozy, the conservative candidate.  However, not a conservative in the traditional french mould of de Gaulle, or Chirac.  He is rather a pro-american, pro-capitalist, something very hard to accept by the french masses.  Here is a video (have no illusions, it’s a anti-sarkozist who has made teh video), which nonetheless sheds a lot of light on his double-talk and general views.  (sorry guys, it’s in french)

    [dailymotion 74t50ySCKfvrV2v4D]

    There is another interesting video (and article) on Sarko, here at Les Politiques.

    [tags]french, france, sarko, sarkozy, election, presidentielle[/tags]

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  • 0 Comments
  • Filed under: France
  • Sofreh

    Hello everyone!

    Yes, yes, Loopy is alive and well, and no holidays! So first off,

    HAPPY NOROUZ TO EVERYONE, I WISH YOU ALL A GREAT NEW YEAR, FULL OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS. 

    So, yes i was gone a long time for many reasons.  First of all, as i told you all, i was not going to write any politics-related stuff until after the New Year’s festivities were over.  For the last wile i really was overdosing on news and politics, and losing sleep and peaec of mind  At one point you just have to stop. I can’t emotionally dissociate myself from news in relation to Iran, so i had to just pull away for a while. 

    Secondly, it was the holidays! Loopy’s Manifold needs to take a break as well.  We had a nice and modest Norouz here in paris.  You can see our "Sofreh Haft-seen" In the picture.  (i have two more pictures, i’ll show you at the end of this post.  Sal-Tahvil was at 1.07 AM here, and we were able to hook up with my parents, thanks to SKYPE and webcam.  However it was back to work the next day.

    Finally, the other main reason was becuase on Tuesday i had the due date of my "Memoire professionel".  This is basically a 30-40 page "thesis report" over some pedagogic project which we designed and put in place with our classes.  My topic was on motivation of students who pose discipline problems.  Now, the reason that thsi took  A LOT of my time, was due to my French language shortcomings. In fact, since i have no problems writign in english, and can be quite verbose at times.  As usual, my problem was witign TOO much.  And then aftewards it was time to translate (between you and me, it was Anne-Laure who did practially all of that).  And again, as usual,  the report was doen literally hours before the due date.  But now it is done, and the only thing that remains is the defence which is late april. 

    Now, fortunately i will be having a lot more time on my hands, so i’ll try to blog reguarly. So much to talk about, the french elections are on the 22nd of April.  There is ALWAYS middle east news.  However, i really really want to keep my pledge anad new year’s resolution of going away from JUST POLITICS.  i really don’t want to do that.  So i will! done.

    Now, for those pictures….

    (more…)

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    Murder of a 12 Year old student

    We have all been shocked by the news last night of the killing of a 12 year old student in a paris suburbs school, at the hands of his classmates

    Now, before the anti-french flagwaver go on their little rants, it shoudl be known that this has NOTHING to do with race, immigrants, religion or that kind of nonesense.  Apparently it happend at the end of a gym class, during which the students had played a football match.  The victim apparently had either played a good game or fouled some of the perpetrators, and as a rsult they decided to give him a beating at the end of class.  He was taken down and kicked by two of these students, but it appears that he already had a heart condition and as the result of the ‘emotional shock’ of the waht was happening he suffered a heart attack. 

    I have to say that today at school that pretty much was topic of discussion.  It is incredibly shocking considering the age of the students involved, and the unfortunate result.  And the discussions veered towards the boundaries of the responsibilities of the teachers, and what to do when you have 30 students to watch over and at the same time you have to put away sporting equipment, or lab equipment.

    Afterwards i was talkign with my supervising teacher (who’s been teaching physics for quite a few years) and he was telling me of some of the idiocy that students can do in a simple physics lab with electrical stuff and whatnot, and i have to tell you, it scared the shit out of me. It is impossible to keep an eye on EVERYTHIGN THAT EVERYSINGLE STUDENT DOES AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.

    I guess this is just one of those things you have to do the best you can with, and learn with experience and the years.

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    • I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress. - - -Jane Austen


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