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The Fabulous George Carlin Archive

I’d written this post a few weeks ago, but it seems much more fitting today.

George Carlin, that fabulous, genius of a stand up comic, (and Mr. Conductor on Shining times station!) died today, at 71.  It’s funny, every so often, you think to yourselves, there are certain people that you hope wouldn’t ever die.  Just becasue of how creative, and original they are, because of how much they contribue.  The two people in the entertainment business i always had this pre-emptive Lament for, have been George Carlin and Woody Allen. 

But what is wonderful is that while he may be physically gone, the body of work that is his legacy is preserved, and he stays with us in our thoughts.  So let us enjoy it, thinking about him.

So here is an archive of George Carlin videos available for free on the web:

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This is so stupid…

…that i can’t stop laughing!!!!

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  • Filed under: Fun, Humour
  • Unexpecting the expected

    I did something today, that i’d never done before. 

    As usual, after eating, i put my plate aside.  Then i turned and looked at it, and thought for a moment, and decided against all instinct, to follow Mim’s advice, and i picked up the plate, walked slowly – against my body’s natural tendencies – over to the dishwashing area.  I at first nearly succumbed to my instincts, and placed the dirty dish in the sink and turned.  But, for reasons as yet unknown to me, my left foot refused to turn.  Once more i reflected on Mim’s advice.  I looked at the dirty dish, sitting lonely in sink.

    I then tried a more psychological approach.  I said nearly outloud, that anyways, I’d done a whole lot of dishwashing today.  Yes, it was that time of the week. And i had to wash for the need of a clean dish to cook in, something which i’d avoided all day, so as to not have to wash the dishes, until finally my stomach sent me a very stern warning, and i had to acquiesce. 

    The dish and I stayed engaged in this oddest of staredowns.  And i continued to reason against myself:  There is no hot water left.   The inside of my plastic dishwashing gloves is wet.  It’s a waste of water.  It’s a holiday today.  Did the americans ever REALLY land on the moon?  I really need to get back to work on the Beethoven.  Did i just hear on the radio taht Karl Malone made a 12 year old girl pregnant when he was 18? I really need to get dressed otherwise i’ll miss the 16hr showing of …. of……….of…….IRON MAN!

    And yet the disk continued to look pleadingly at me with its one huge red plastic eye. 

    I suddenly felt an odd twitch in my right arm.  It was moving.  Ever so slowly, but ever so surely.  I watched my hand in disbelief as i slowly extended itself, reached down into sink, for the red plate.  Completely in shock by this odd movement of my arm, i was ambused by the movement, almost in concert, of my left hand towards the water tap. 

    I was in full panick mode by this time.  What is going on? I knew i should have filed my taxes earlier….

    My left hand, with uncanny post-meal dexterity turned on the hot water and immediately reached for the already-soapy-from-earlier-washing sponge. 

    And then … Then to my own shock, AND awe, i watched myself as i washed a dish, a single solitary dish, right after having eaten off of it.

    20 seconds later it was done.  I’d even put the disk in the rack to dry, something which i realized only after several seconds after seeing myself in the mirror standing immobile in front of an empty sink, sponge still in my hand and small trail of soapy warm water slowly making its way down my left arm. 

    –//

    I guess Mim was right.  It is easier to do one dish after the meal, than 20 after a week.

    Who knows, i might even do it again sometime….no hurry.

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    Funniest thing I heard today

    “Don’t get that cookoo clock back. that thing almost put my eye out!”
    “Well you shouldn’t have been so close, you KNEW what time it was!”

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    Babies eating Lemons

    01:28 – July 22, 2007

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    Well, it has come … and gone.

    Standing in line a mere 3 hours last friday nite, i was able to get my hands on the final installment of the Harry potter saga: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, at 2.40 AM, at Paris’ famous W.H.Smith.

    So i decided to make it a Potter-ful night and so i went before hand to watch the newly released Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix film.

    MOVIE REVIEW: Harry potter and the Order of the Phoneix

    What an absolute and utter disappointment. Easily, the worst of the five movies, and on almost every level.

    Before starting my critique, i will acknowledge that it was a very difficult task to try and condense a 700-page book into a less than 3 hours long movie. However, having said that, let us not forget that the 4th move, Goblet of Fire, was also a massive book, which was satisfactorily translated onto the silver screen. So let me go through the problems:

    • The story is incredibly incoherent. And this is coming from a hardcore Potterphile, who knows the stories inside out. While it is acceptable to leave out many smaller details which add to the ambiance of the book but do not figure in the main storyline, one cannot do the same with important points. I can only imagine how confusing the movie must have been to one who has NOT read the books. There are jumps in plot, there is no character developement. There is no logic in the reason people do things.
    • Utterly anticlimactic. As i sat there, grinding my teeth through teh first half, i kept justifying the missing chunks of story, by saying that all is for a good reason: take away from the first half of the story, in order to allow a long and superclimactic final confrontation scene. In the book, the final confrontation is easily, the most climactic of the first six books (yes, even more so that i would say in the Half-blood Prince). The entire part with teh kids running around in the department of mysteries should be the perfect medium for any diretor looking for some inventive eye-candy. And yet … david yates, chose to skip over almost all of it, and go straight to the hall of prophcies. Such a shame. Can you imagine this part of the story, in the hands of, for example Alfonso Cuaron (the guy who did the 3rd movie), or better yet, someone like a Terry Gilliam, or Jean-Pierre Jeunet? Then as if that wasn’t bad enough, the utter climax, the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort, is done away far too quickly, without any interesting visuals, and dishonesty towards the characters to some degree.
    • And while i’m on the department of mysteries sequence, WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH THE DEATH EATERS WOOSHING AROUND LIKE THAT? For goodness sake…..
    • Furthermore, Why did they have to change Sirius’s death? I can think of100 ways of doign it which would have been better than that. AND WHY THE HELL DID THE ARCHWAY NOT HAVE A VEIL!!!!!! OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE……
    • I really dislike some character depictions. First of all, i have Never liked Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore. The essence of Dumbledore is a childish spirit with the body and wisdom of an old man. He’s the greatest wizard of the age, one who knows it, who is confident of his abilities, and is afraid of no one, and is utterly compassionate. Most of this does not come through Gambon’s interpretation. Which is a shame, because they are the most attractive parts of the character’s personality. I miss Richard Harris’s Dumbledore.
    • We didn’t get to see nearly enough of Snape! Come on, here we have one of the best and most intriguing characters in the series (not the mention the most perfectly played, thanks to alan rickman), and i think he has only a few minutes of screentime.
    • I’m sorry, but i dont care what reviewers say, but i think If Daniel Radcliffe (the guy who plays harry potter) had an act-off with the inimitably bad Hayden Christensen (guy who played Anakin skywalker), i’m sure they would both lose.
    • I believe, the girl who played Luna Lovegood, is the first non-brit employed in the series. And it shows! And her lack of acting experiences shows too! She may have the proper appearance, but the acting was just not there. And what the heck was up with the not-so-subtle “romantic tension’ between her and harry. Come on david yates, you can be more subtle than that.

    If only to be fair, i will point out some of the positive points as well.

    • The two main young ladies, who play Hermione and Ginny, are certainly growing up most beautifully. It’ll be a shame when by the final movie they’ll have to be 22 years olds playing 16 year old high schoolers, not that i will mind.
    • There were a lot of good visual, not necessarily in the context of the story, but in themselves. Some good visual jokes, such as the kitten plates in Umbridge’s office.
    • Dolores Umbridge. Imelda Staunton was … PERFECT. She was the lone shining light in the entire movie. She had the character down to a’t’. From those annoying littel coughs, to look and behaviour. She was perfect in everyway.
    • … hmm…i guess that’s it.

    Did anyone who has not read the books actually understand what is going on now? i doubt it. Do they know the importance of the prophecy? no. Or of nevill longbottom? no.

    Well, that’s it. I have not yet begun reading the book. i hope to begin soon, once i’ve finished the re-reading of the last two, just to get into the flow of things.

     

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    A Questions

    Q: What does a Dyslexic Agnostic suffering from Insomnia do?

    A: Stay up all night wondering whether Dog exists!

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    • This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS! - - - Homer Simpson


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